I miss writing. I miss using my camera. I miss being creative. Going back to work full-time over 2 years ago changed my family's life. Some of the changes are good, like financial security and some of them not so good, like me not being home when they get home after school. This year, I am making it about family. Still, I am not focusing on the year, the week, or even the day. I am focusing on the moments. These moments will include the little things, like my 14 year old holding the door for his 11 year old sister or my 14 year old giving my 11 year old money for a birthday gift for her friend. These are the moments that I will focus on this year. The moments when family shines through. When even if they say they don't like each other or me for that matter, I know we are family.
Wednesday, January 1, 2014
Tuesday, April 26, 2011
Fate and Looking Back
I have so many drafts under my posts that I won't even bother to count. But every once in a while I look back and read what I have written. Look to see if anything has changed. I wrote this post back in February. I don't know why I never hit - publish post. I don't know why I don't make decisions more often - set goals - move forward.
Fate?
Do you believe in fate? I say that I do, but then something happens that makes me question it. If I had made this choice this would have happened, but if I made a different choice this would have happened. Now, some call the choice fate; but right here right now, I am thinking it was all in that one decision.
Fate?
Do you believe in fate? I say that I do, but then something happens that makes me question it. If I had made this choice this would have happened, but if I made a different choice this would have happened. Now, some call the choice fate; but right here right now, I am thinking it was all in that one decision.
I think that there are many forks in the road and that most times we stop at the fork and decide what is best for us at the time. We weigh our choices and gather advise, but when it all comes down to it, we just make a decision. I chose my fate many times, and in hind sight would have chosen the other road. I would have gone with my gut feeling, my intuition. So many times I have gone against that. I knew in my heart that the other road was the right one, but still chose the one that my head said to take.
I think we can grow and change until the day we die. I don't believe in the old saying, "You can't teach a new dog new tricks." I think that we can make that decision that our intuition is telling us to make and change our fate.
Sunday, April 10, 2011
Letter to Self - One Little Word
For the month of April the assignment for One Little Word is to write a letter to yourself. The letter should comprise of where you are now and where you want to be this time next year. Since April 1 there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about this letter.
What I would write would be scary. What I would write would encompass a lot of change. What I would write would make some people unhappy. But I can't write what I really "would" do, because then it will make it real. If I put it in writing, it will mean that I will have to make those changes. I have to make those decision. It would be real.
I know what I should do. I know what I want to write. I know that although the road I "would" chose wouldn't be an easy on, it would be better than where I am now. Still, I am going to have to figure out where I want to be this time next year, because I know it won't be were I really want to be.
What I would write would be scary. What I would write would encompass a lot of change. What I would write would make some people unhappy. But I can't write what I really "would" do, because then it will make it real. If I put it in writing, it will mean that I will have to make those changes. I have to make those decision. It would be real.
I know what I should do. I know what I want to write. I know that although the road I "would" chose wouldn't be an easy on, it would be better than where I am now. Still, I am going to have to figure out where I want to be this time next year, because I know it won't be were I really want to be.
Tuesday, April 5, 2011
My Life Could be a Sitcom - #2
I know that my life is pretty ordinary. I know that others struggle with the same things that I do. But there are days that I wonder what happened to my stars? Was there a asteroid that made my stars fall out of alignment? What pray tell happened?
Today started as a great day. As a matter of fact, I intended to post about my great morning. I was going to tell you that today my Girl Child got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed her teeth without incident. I was going to tell you about my method of waking her up this morning, but that will have to be another post.
Oh, wait I almost forgot to mention the dead mice in my car and the smell that made me gag this morning. I asked my older Boy Child if he thought it was just musty (it has been raining for days) or if it was the smell of death. He quietly replied, "It's definitely death." But again, that will be another post.
So today nothing was going to get me down. My plan was to "Stay Calm and Carry On." For the most part, my plan worked out.
Until bathtime.
I overheard my little Boy Child tell my Girl Child that he has a wiggly eye in his ear. Yes, you read that right. A wiggly eye in his ear!!! So, I went to inquire.
"What do you mean you have a wiggly eye in your ear?" I asked.
His response - "I told you I could hear a clock in my ear this morning."
WHAT??
Little Boy Child is prone to ear infections and just finished an antibiotic for one yesterday, so I just chalked it up to that. I didn't ask him if he actually had a clock in his ear. Who would think he had any foreign object in his ear!
My goodness! So, I took a look and low and behold there was a wiggly eye in his ear!! I called the pediatrician to see if it was something that could wait until the morning or if they suggested I go to the ER. They suggested the ER, so off we went.
I went to Urgent Care thinking that it was the same as an Emergency Room, but it wasn't. They were very ill equipped to handle a wiggly eye in an ear and actually pushed it further into his ear canal.
On top of being ill equipped, the doctor said to my Little Boy Child (who is 6) that he needed to stop "dancing around" so they could get it out! The poor child was crying, coughing, and shaking, because the pain was so bad. It didn't hurt when we got there, but obviously trying to get it out would cause discomfort. I decided to leave and wait to see the ENT in the morning when the doctor suggested putting superglue on the end of a paperclip!!
I am not kidding you.
Superglue on the end of a paperclip!!
Tell me that my life couldn't be a sitcom! Do you ever have days that you think your life could be the next Jerry Seinfeld sitcom?
Today started as a great day. As a matter of fact, I intended to post about my great morning. I was going to tell you that today my Girl Child got up, got dressed, ate breakfast, brushed her teeth without incident. I was going to tell you about my method of waking her up this morning, but that will have to be another post.
Oh, wait I almost forgot to mention the dead mice in my car and the smell that made me gag this morning. I asked my older Boy Child if he thought it was just musty (it has been raining for days) or if it was the smell of death. He quietly replied, "It's definitely death." But again, that will be another post.
So today nothing was going to get me down. My plan was to "Stay Calm and Carry On." For the most part, my plan worked out.
Until bathtime.
I overheard my little Boy Child tell my Girl Child that he has a wiggly eye in his ear. Yes, you read that right. A wiggly eye in his ear!!! So, I went to inquire.
"What do you mean you have a wiggly eye in your ear?" I asked.
His response - "I told you I could hear a clock in my ear this morning."
WHAT??
Little Boy Child is prone to ear infections and just finished an antibiotic for one yesterday, so I just chalked it up to that. I didn't ask him if he actually had a clock in his ear. Who would think he had any foreign object in his ear!
My goodness! So, I took a look and low and behold there was a wiggly eye in his ear!! I called the pediatrician to see if it was something that could wait until the morning or if they suggested I go to the ER. They suggested the ER, so off we went.
I went to Urgent Care thinking that it was the same as an Emergency Room, but it wasn't. They were very ill equipped to handle a wiggly eye in an ear and actually pushed it further into his ear canal.
On top of being ill equipped, the doctor said to my Little Boy Child (who is 6) that he needed to stop "dancing around" so they could get it out! The poor child was crying, coughing, and shaking, because the pain was so bad. It didn't hurt when we got there, but obviously trying to get it out would cause discomfort. I decided to leave and wait to see the ENT in the morning when the doctor suggested putting superglue on the end of a paperclip!!
I am not kidding you.
Superglue on the end of a paperclip!!
Tell me that my life couldn't be a sitcom! Do you ever have days that you think your life could be the next Jerry Seinfeld sitcom?
Monday, April 4, 2011
Daily Happiness
I started writing my Daily Happiness on the sidebar on Friday, April 1. I quickly found out that it would end up taking up too much room on the sidebar, so I will just post them as regular posts with the tag "Daily Happiness." I hope that just noting "one little" event a day will help change my focus from looking for contentment to feeling the joy!
April 1 - My kids played jokes on each other. My 6 year old decided to offer my 11 year old some whipped cream (of course there were pickles under it!) LOL
April 2 - Went Spring shopping with my 9 year old girl child. We were having fun, until she ditched me for a play date. Just kidding! I got to go to the gym, which I love to squeeze in whenever I can!
April 3 - Watched several episodes of Cake Boss with my girl child (even the boys stopped to watch now and then) and then she made a cake creation with a little bit of help from me.
April 4 - One of my favorite things to do with my kids is read. I love cuddling up and bed and reading with/to them. Tonight I got to read with each one of them individually. We read It's Hard to be a Bunny; Diary of a Wimpy Kid; and the second Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters. It is such a great way to end the day! They read every night, but when I have the opportunity to spend time with each one of them it is wonderful.
April 1 - My kids played jokes on each other. My 6 year old decided to offer my 11 year old some whipped cream (of course there were pickles under it!) LOL
April 2 - Went Spring shopping with my 9 year old girl child. We were having fun, until she ditched me for a play date. Just kidding! I got to go to the gym, which I love to squeeze in whenever I can!
April 3 - Watched several episodes of Cake Boss with my girl child (even the boys stopped to watch now and then) and then she made a cake creation with a little bit of help from me.
April 4 - One of my favorite things to do with my kids is read. I love cuddling up and bed and reading with/to them. Tonight I got to read with each one of them individually. We read It's Hard to be a Bunny; Diary of a Wimpy Kid; and the second Percy Jackson, The Sea of Monsters. It is such a great way to end the day! They read every night, but when I have the opportunity to spend time with each one of them it is wonderful.
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Thank You
I am learning each and every day to think of life as a journey rather than a means to an end.
The last few years have been difficult and I feel like I am ruining the most precious years of my children's lives. Some of the things are out of my control, while others are ones that I just need to make a decision. I contemplate too much. I worry about the pros and cons of each and every decisions that I need to make.
I feel like I am missing what is supposed to be the best years of my life. The happiest moments. The days that are supposed to be filled with laughter, yet are filled with tears.
I am trying to change that. I am trying to change the dynamic of my family. I am trying to be hopeful.
I am....simply.....just trying.
So, my One Little Word project will hopefully keep me on track. It will be a constant reminder of what I set out to do this year, even if I don't "finish" the assignments. Even if my "shoulds" are too big. Even if I do nothing other than try to make things better.
At least I can't say I didn't do anything.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
OLW Blog Hop- What Happened to Action?
In my last post I said I was going to post daily. My goal was to highlight something that happened each day that brought me joy. What happened? Why didn't I do it? I don't know. I always have great intentions.
But are my intentions too big? Do they paralyze me? Isn't something better than nothing?
I am the type of person who wants to get from point A to point Z without any detours. I want the end result. I want the outcome without the journey. I know this about myself. I know this is my stumbling block. Yet, I don't know how to change it.
Actually. I do.
I know that I should create small goals.
I know that I should do something, rather than nothing.
I know that only I can change this.
This blog started as a way to "notice" the small things that brought me joy. Yet, I find myself writing about the things that bother me. The things that don't bring me joy. You should see the list of "drafts" under my posts. They are often raw with emotion and thought, but I don't post them. Posting them would make them even more real and I don't want them to be my reality anymore.
Hop along to
| Jan at | http://mysimplelittlelife.typepad.com/ and read about her journey this month. |
If you get lost along the hop, feel free to stop back here and find your way!
Wednesday, March 16, 2011
Work in Progress
How do they do it?
How do they feel so much happiness? Contentment? Grace?
What is their secret and why won't they share it?
I don't want to be a work in progress anymore. I want to know the secret.
Is it all a facade? Do some people just hide it better? Or do they truly feel pure happiness? Contentment? Grace?
I am struggling with my One Little Word. I am struggling to see all the joy when things just seem so difficult. March is supposed to be the month of action, but I can't seem to get out of my way. And this isn't the first time in the last few years that I have felt this way. In my own way! Stuck. So what I am going to try to do for the remainder of the month is post daily. I am going post something positive that happened that day. The post may be very short or very long. I need action. I need to find the secret and feel pure happiness. Contentment. Grace. I am going to find my "undiscovered joy."
I will get out of my own way and make a change.
Do you ever feel stuck? What do you do to get unstuck?
How do they feel so much happiness? Contentment? Grace?
What is their secret and why won't they share it?
I don't want to be a work in progress anymore. I want to know the secret.
Is it all a facade? Do some people just hide it better? Or do they truly feel pure happiness? Contentment? Grace?
I am struggling with my One Little Word. I am struggling to see all the joy when things just seem so difficult. March is supposed to be the month of action, but I can't seem to get out of my way. And this isn't the first time in the last few years that I have felt this way. In my own way! Stuck. So what I am going to try to do for the remainder of the month is post daily. I am going post something positive that happened that day. The post may be very short or very long. I need action. I need to find the secret and feel pure happiness. Contentment. Grace. I am going to find my "undiscovered joy."
I will get out of my own way and make a change.
Do you ever feel stuck? What do you do to get unstuck?
Sunday, March 13, 2011
Where Does Time Go?
My Girl Child turned 9 over the weekend. Nine! Nine years have past since her birth and I can remember it like it was yesterday. I remember how tiny she was in comparison to her older brother. I remember all the pink. I remember seeing her beautiful face for the first time.
Now I see an independent girl who wants to pick out her clothes, do her own hair, and make her own decisions. I see a girl who still loves her dolls and wonder how long that will last. I see a girl who knows what she wants and knows what she likes. No question. I see a girl who is struggling with being a little girl child. She wants to grow up and I want to stop it. She wants to go to the American Girl store and then wander into the mall for the “grown up” things – makeup (only lip gloss is allowed), clothes, and other accessories. Then a stop at Brookstones for a massage in the chairs.
I want it to stop. I want to freeze time. I want to go back in time. I want her to always be my little girl.
Monday, March 7, 2011
Diversion
This morning I was looking at my One Little Word project and was reading the thesaurus for my word. As you know, my word is Joy.
Still, did you know that one of it’s synonyms is diversion?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized that I am terrible at diversion. I focus. I focus to the extent that I get tunnel vision and can’t see clearly. I hone in on things for far too long.
I always admired the parents that used diversion to get their kids to stop having a tantrum or to do what they wanted. I never did it well. I always point out what they are doing wrong and talk about it with the hope that it won’t happen again.
Wrong!
And 9 out of 10 times whatever I want them to stop doing isn’t a big deal until they won’t stop. They have tunnel vision. They are focused on what they are doing.
I just find it so interesting that diversion is an synonym for joy. But the more I think about it, the more it makes sense. If I used diversion for myself and for my kids, we would have a lot more joy. I wouldn’t always be focusing on what needs to change, because focusing on it isn’t necessarily changing it. In fact quit the opposite; it is probably happening more.
An occasional diversion might be exactly what we need to bring more joy.
Saturday, March 5, 2011
Spending Time with Big Boy Child
Today I asked my big boy child to go on a winter hike with me. Just him and me. He didn't really want to go, but said, "I'll go, if you want me to." He is 11, so I k
now that this response is short lived. We pulled into the parking lot and discovered lots of water and mud. Of course big boy child couldn't resist and jumped in the first puddle and was more excited when I told him to do it again so that I could capture it! MUD!
Even though we had fun and enjoyed each other's company, it was a quiet hike. He has a lot on his mind and is contemplating things. He didn't tell me this, I can just see it in his eyes; in his expressions; in his mood.
Big boy child is very sensitive.
He is a hockey player and all boy, but a lot of people think he is thick skinned and he is not. He wears his emotion on his sleeve. He takes everything personally. He feels like I have never seen anyone feel.
We s
topped to take a rest and he was making snowballs and throwing them up in the air. He was watching them fall. He wasn’t smiling. He wasn’t laughing. He was just thinking. Looking at this picture actually brings tears to my eyes, because with the enormous amount of contemplation comes stress. Big boy child puts a lot of pressure on himself, which causes this “Little” boy child to sometimes get out of control. When you feel to the extent that he feels, it goes both ways. So, we continued on and he talked when he wanted and was silent when he wanted. He stopped when he wanted and contemplated and hiked along when he wanted. I think big boy child needed this hike more than I did.
Friday, March 4, 2011
Complete Joy
There is nothing worse than things that are left undone.
Not finished.
Waiting.
It is like having something hanging over you all the time.
As I age, I realize that sometimes there just isn't enough time in the day. I will eventually get to some of the things on my "To Do List." They will get done.
About 2 months ago, I bought a wireless adapter for my desktop PC. I don't like wires! I wish I could make everything wireless (there I go again with my "To Do list"; actually that is a "Wish List.") Well the adapter was not working, which isn't surprising because my desktop is ancient!
Well today was the day I decided to get this done - call Belkin and find out what the problem is. As usual, their customer service was fabulous. They solved my problem again. YEAH for wireless.
As I was putting everything back in place, I realized that in addition to solving the wireless problem, I came up with a clever idea for my wires connected to the wireless. I had my little boy child retrieve a antique suitcase that has been sitting in my bedroom for 2 years waiting for a purpose. Yes 2 years! I love the little brown suitcase. So, I am going to make it a home for my wires. I will post pictures when the project is finished.
Oh , wait! It might be a few months or years before I get to it!
Not finished.
Waiting.
It is like having something hanging over you all the time.
As I age, I realize that sometimes there just isn't enough time in the day. I will eventually get to some of the things on my "To Do List." They will get done.
About 2 months ago, I bought a wireless adapter for my desktop PC. I don't like wires! I wish I could make everything wireless (there I go again with my "To Do list"; actually that is a "Wish List.") Well the adapter was not working, which isn't surprising because my desktop is ancient!
Well today was the day I decided to get this done - call Belkin and find out what the problem is. As usual, their customer service was fabulous. They solved my problem again. YEAH for wireless.
As I was putting everything back in place, I realized that in addition to solving the wireless problem, I came up with a clever idea for my wires connected to the wireless. I had my little boy child retrieve a antique suitcase that has been sitting in my bedroom for 2 years waiting for a purpose. Yes 2 years! I love the little brown suitcase. So, I am going to make it a home for my wires. I will post pictures when the project is finished.
Oh , wait! It might be a few months or years before I get to it!
Tuesday, March 1, 2011
OLW Blog Hop
YEAH! My first blog hop!! I am SO EXCITED!
I joined One Little Word on a whim. I missed the Picture Winter workshop community so much that I needed more. Little did I know what I was missing! I came across Big Picture Classes a few years ago. I would check out their site and check out their classes, but would never sign up. I don't even know what brought me back again, but I am so glad I did.
For the month of February we were tasked with cultivating our word and bringing it into our life. I will say that I struggled a little. Not because I couldn't bring joy into my life, but because I know what brings me joy. I know what makes me happy. I do. I really do. I just don't celebrate it. I don't feel it in the deepest part of my heart. I know it. I just don't feel it.
I am looking forward to continuing this journey. I look forward to changing the way I experience things. I want to feel the joy and share it. When I became a mother, my wish was for my children to smile easy and to be enthusiastic about life. How will they do that if I don't model it for them? Don't get me wrong, we have fun. We do things as a family. We enjoy each other. I just don't get overly enthusiastic and I wish I did. Not overly - just enthusiastic.
So, this year I will work on it. I will try to smile easy so that my kids will. I will try to be enthusiastic, because there are so many things to be enthusiastic about. I can't wait for this life changing year. I can't.
Now you should "hop" on over to Beth's blog at http://justbebeth.wordpress.com/ and check out her post for the blog hop. Have fun! If you get lost you can come back here and go right down the list below.
I hope you check back here again sometime and leave a comment, if you have a minute!
I joined One Little Word on a whim. I missed the Picture Winter workshop community so much that I needed more. Little did I know what I was missing! I came across Big Picture Classes a few years ago. I would check out their site and check out their classes, but would never sign up. I don't even know what brought me back again, but I am so glad I did.
For the month of February we were tasked with cultivating our word and bringing it into our life. I will say that I struggled a little. Not because I couldn't bring joy into my life, but because I know what brings me joy. I know what makes me happy. I do. I really do. I just don't celebrate it. I don't feel it in the deepest part of my heart. I know it. I just don't feel it.
I am looking forward to continuing this journey. I look forward to changing the way I experience things. I want to feel the joy and share it. When I became a mother, my wish was for my children to smile easy and to be enthusiastic about life. How will they do that if I don't model it for them? Don't get me wrong, we have fun. We do things as a family. We enjoy each other. I just don't get overly enthusiastic and I wish I did. Not overly - just enthusiastic.
So, this year I will work on it. I will try to smile easy so that my kids will. I will try to be enthusiastic, because there are so many things to be enthusiastic about. I can't wait for this life changing year. I can't.
Now you should "hop" on over to Beth's blog at http://justbebeth.wordpress.com/ and check out her post for the blog hop. Have fun! If you get lost you can come back here and go right down the list below.
I hope you check back here again sometime and leave a comment, if you have a minute!
1. Margie http://xnomads.typepad.com/
2. Monica B http://scraplifters.blogspot.com/
3. Jill http://jillconyers.typepad.com/
4. Miranda http://mirandasscrapsite.blogspot.com/
5. Donna http://www.donnabryantdurand.blogspot.com
3. Jill http://jillconyers.typepad.com/
4. Miranda http://mirandasscrapsite.blogspot.com/
5. Donna http://www.donnabryantdurand.blogspot.com
7. Stacey http://www.TheAcornGarden.com/blog
9. Cassie http://craftycassiescorner.blogspot.com/
12. Holly http://lovingrobots.blogspot.com/
13. Karen http://breathenowsmile.blogspot.com/
14. Claudia http://creative-moms.com/
15. Rebekah http://istampscrapcraft.blogspot.com/
16. Kimberly http://foreverdaisies.blogspot.com/
18. Kristina http://ciqis.blogspot.com/
20. Nikki http://www.inkyart.com.au/
21. Amanda http://www.scrappnbee.blogspot.com/
22. Lisa http://luluoz.typepad.com/
24. Maureen http://cookingmylife.blogspot.com/
25. Kristi http://theprojectofme.wordpress.com/
27. Karen http://womenontractors.blogspot.com/
28. Katrina http://k84mansramblings.blogspot.com
32. Chrissy http://getcraftywithchrissy.blogspot.com/
43. Cindy http://seriousplay.typepad.com/
44. Cynthiau http://paperpapereverywhere.blogspot.com/
Sunday, February 27, 2011
Self Portraits
Have you ever taken a self-portrait? Turned the camera on yourself?
I am taking another workshop at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ and was tasked with taking a picture of myself. I tried to do it a few weeks ago after admiring Georgia's portraits over at http://www.itsjusthowiseethings.blogpost.com/, but was not happy with the result. So when I saw that I would have to try again, I was mixed with emotion. I was happy to give it another go, but apprehensive that I wouldn't be satisfied yet again.
And I was right.
I took shot after shot.
I tried different spots in my bedroom. (I had to hide in there, because I didn't want to explain myself to my husband or kids.)
I shot.
I deleted.
I processed in Photoshop. and then...
I couldn't help but make fun of myself.
I am taking another workshop at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ and was tasked with taking a picture of myself. I tried to do it a few weeks ago after admiring Georgia's portraits over at http://www.itsjusthowiseethings.blogpost.com/, but was not happy with the result. So when I saw that I would have to try again, I was mixed with emotion. I was happy to give it another go, but apprehensive that I wouldn't be satisfied yet again.
And I was right.
I took shot after shot.
I tried different spots in my bedroom. (I had to hide in there, because I didn't want to explain myself to my husband or kids.)
I shot.
I deleted.
I processed in Photoshop. and then...
I couldn't help but make fun of myself.
After posting my second shot, which is above, I went and spent sometime in the class gallery. I saw how other people captured themselves and although I am truly not surprised, most had a hard time with it. They took a lot of shots. They deleted. They used the healing tool in Photoshop. And on the rare shot, they showed us themselves.
Raw.
Natural.
Unaltered.
Beautiful.
I have to say that those are the shots I loved the most. The ones that I felt really showed the woman. Showed their strength. Showed them, raw, natural, unaltered, and beautiful. I find courage and strength from the woman that did. I think it is beautiful and I thank you for sharing your raw natural beauty!
Saturday, February 26, 2011
Blog Hop
I am so excited! I am participating in my first ever Blog Hop!!! Yahoo!!
Because I was mourning the end of the Picture Winter workshop that I took at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/, I decided to sign up for another workshop. I mentioned it in another post. It is called One Little Word. The premise is that you pick on word an make that your focus for the year. Embrace your word, live your word, and change your life because of your word.
You know what "they" say about noticing the good around it? "They" say that it becomes a habit. You know what I mean. When things aren't going quit the way you want it is easy to focus on those things, but it is a bit harder to stayed focus on exploring all the positive things around you.
My word this year is Joy. People have chosen words like Light, Faith, Focus, etc. What would your word be?
Check in on Tuesday, March 1 and see what my fellow bloggers chose for their word and how they captured it in their photography in the month of February.
Because I was mourning the end of the Picture Winter workshop that I took at http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/, I decided to sign up for another workshop. I mentioned it in another post. It is called One Little Word. The premise is that you pick on word an make that your focus for the year. Embrace your word, live your word, and change your life because of your word.
You know what "they" say about noticing the good around it? "They" say that it becomes a habit. You know what I mean. When things aren't going quit the way you want it is easy to focus on those things, but it is a bit harder to stayed focus on exploring all the positive things around you.
My word this year is Joy. People have chosen words like Light, Faith, Focus, etc. What would your word be?
Check in on Tuesday, March 1 and see what my fellow bloggers chose for their word and how they captured it in their photography in the month of February.
Friday, February 25, 2011
I Lost 3/4.
Yes, I lost 3/4.
3/4 of what you ask?
3/4 of a mile.
The other day I discovered something. It is something that I have discovered many time before, but slowly forgot. I discovered that I love the gym.
Yes, I said, it.
I love the gym and that is where I lost 3/4 of a mile.
I started running again in January 2010, but like I do every year, I stop excercising around mid-summer and don't start again until the following year. Yes, I gain weight. Yes, I feel out of shape. Yes, I have done it every year for YEARS!
Today I returned and had so much fun at the gym. Although I love the way excersing makes me feel and there are days that I am in my own little world at the gym, today wasn't one of those days. Today I did some people watching and there was a lot of it!
I started to run and looked to my right and saw a guy in his mid 20's on the elliptical banging his head. Yes, banging his head to his music. It was hysterical. Then I looked to his right and saw a woman dancing on the elliptical. Yes, dancing! I can't even explain it. You had to see it for yourself. I was holding back my smile, because I didn't want to look like some crazy lady smiling while running on the treadmill.
I didn't want to smile, because someone might think I was crazy; yet these people let it all out. They don't care. They aren't self conscience. They do their thing!
Although I don't consider myself self conscience, it is times like these when I discover that I really am. I would never enjoy my music and bang my head or dance like no one was watching in the middle of the gym. I just wouldn't. I wonder if that makes me sane or crazy.
3/4 of what you ask?
3/4 of a mile.
The other day I discovered something. It is something that I have discovered many time before, but slowly forgot. I discovered that I love the gym.
Yes, I said, it.
I love the gym and that is where I lost 3/4 of a mile.
I started running again in January 2010, but like I do every year, I stop excercising around mid-summer and don't start again until the following year. Yes, I gain weight. Yes, I feel out of shape. Yes, I have done it every year for YEARS!
Today I returned and had so much fun at the gym. Although I love the way excersing makes me feel and there are days that I am in my own little world at the gym, today wasn't one of those days. Today I did some people watching and there was a lot of it!
I started to run and looked to my right and saw a guy in his mid 20's on the elliptical banging his head. Yes, banging his head to his music. It was hysterical. Then I looked to his right and saw a woman dancing on the elliptical. Yes, dancing! I can't even explain it. You had to see it for yourself. I was holding back my smile, because I didn't want to look like some crazy lady smiling while running on the treadmill.
I didn't want to smile, because someone might think I was crazy; yet these people let it all out. They don't care. They aren't self conscience. They do their thing!
Although I don't consider myself self conscience, it is times like these when I discover that I really am. I would never enjoy my music and bang my head or dance like no one was watching in the middle of the gym. I just wouldn't. I wonder if that makes me sane or crazy.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Acting Like Children
Sometimes we do things we shouldn't.
Sometimes we say things we shouldn't.
Sometimes we act exactly the way we tell THEM not to.
We act like children.
Impulsive.
Mouthy.
Not nice.
But what is our excuse? We are adults. We are supposed to know better; at least that is what we tell THEM. Don't touch that. Don't talk to me like that. Be nice to your sister. Think it through before you make a bad choice. Use your manners and talk politely. Don't annoy your brother.
Still, even as an adult I forget these basic principles sometimes. I act impulsive and say things that I later regret. I don't always say please and thank you. And I am not always nice. Still, I hold my children to a high standard and think that they should always do these things. Always think before they act. Always use their manners and talk with respect. Always be nice.
If I can't ALWAYS do it, how can they?
Sometimes we say things we shouldn't.
Sometimes we act exactly the way we tell THEM not to.
We act like children.
Impulsive.
Mouthy.
Not nice.
But what is our excuse? We are adults. We are supposed to know better; at least that is what we tell THEM. Don't touch that. Don't talk to me like that. Be nice to your sister. Think it through before you make a bad choice. Use your manners and talk politely. Don't annoy your brother.
Still, even as an adult I forget these basic principles sometimes. I act impulsive and say things that I later regret. I don't always say please and thank you. And I am not always nice. Still, I hold my children to a high standard and think that they should always do these things. Always think before they act. Always use their manners and talk with respect. Always be nice.
If I can't ALWAYS do it, how can they?
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Who’s Cleaning the Kitchen?
I walk into the kitchen after my husband says after dinner, "Go sit, I will clean up."
All I see is a mess. Covers to pots still unwashed. Glasses of 1/2 drunk milk left on the table.
Generally I would say something negative like, "Who is cleaning up???" With a nice dose of sarcasm.
But in the past year, I have done a lot of soul searching and that journey has made me truly realize that he doesn't see what I see. He can't. He is not me. His idea of clean and mine are completely and utterly different. Our perspective is not the same.
After taking the Picture Winter workshop from http://www.bigpictureclasses.com/ I realized that this is true of most things. The daily prompt/inspirations conjured up different images from everyone. I would always get excited when someone took a similar shot as mine or had the same subject, because it meant someone was thinking like me. Still, most of the time I would stop and ponder saying, "Wow, I wouldn't' have interpreted it like that ." I absolutely loved the different perspective. It was very thought provoking.
My blogging friend over at Its Just How I See Things posted this photo for the prompt "Cracked Open."
My photo was this:
Totally different. Neither right. Neither wrong. Simply different interpretations of the same prompt.
So when you think about it, it is just like the kitchen duty. The prompt “clean up” meant one thing to my husband and another to me. Totally different. Neither right. Neither wrong. Simply different interpretations of the same prompt.
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Things Don't Always Turn Out Quit as Planned
My plan was for this post to be about my new love. My newshiny
beautiful
KitchenAid!
I planned for it to be about our love of inanimate objects.
I was going to post a picture of it and the beautiful chocolate chip heart cookies that I made. But things didn't work out the way I planned. The chocolate chip cookies that I tried to make into cutout cookies didn't work out. They looked like flat over cooked chocolate chip cookies. They certainly didn't hold their heart shape.
Usually my response would be frustration.
Aggravation.
But this time I wasn't either. Instead of getting aggravated, I ate a few;
which were still yummy.
Then I moved on.
We make plans. We think we know what the future holds.
But then something happens, whether good or bad and our masterful plan is ca put! Ruined. Or simply just changed. The problem I have found is that when I was younger if a plan went ca put, I just made a new plan. But as an adult, I have stopped making plans. I am not talking about what to eat or plans for a vacation. I am talking about life plans, parenting plans, financial plans.
I planned to only live in this house for a few year. We have been here for 12 1/2 years.
I planned to stay home when I had kids, but have been working outside the home for 8 years.
I planned to not yell like my mother. I yell.
I planned to be financially secure. I have debt coming out of my eyeballs.
It all just happened and I didn't move on and make a new plan. I just muddled along.
But that is all going to change. I am going to start making plans. I am going to attempt to stick to it. But most of all, if the plan doesn't work out, I am going to make a new one. Because you generally don't get anywhere without a plan.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Time Cruncher
I don't like to be late. The thought of being late sends me into a tailspin. Rush. Rush. Rush.I don't like to be early. It means that I could have done something else in the 15 minutes that I am wasting "sitting" around.
Does that make any sense? Really it doesn't, but it is exactly how I feel and how I create some of my own chaos.
Just the other day my daughter twisted her ankle. The next morning she woke up still complaining. I decided that it was better to be safe than sorry and have it checked. She has an unbelievable pain tolerance, so when she says something hurts - it HURTS. 
Did I mention that our pediatrician is about 25 miles away. Sounds kind of crazy, right? I am sure there are very qualified and fantastic doctor's in this "neck of the woods", but when my kid's health and well being is on the line, I am going to the best (in Massachusetts)!
So back to my time crunching. Our appointment was at 10:00. We were early. I was thinking of all the things I could have done at home with those extra 15 minutes. We left with a prognosis of pulled tendon. Prescription - Rest. I drove the 25 miles back home - dropped her off at school at 11:00. My boy child had to be in school at 12:00.
Plenty of time!
I went home. Feed him lunch. Switched laundry. Played the game Trouble with him. Took some self-portraits (I should say tried to take some self-portraits) and then looked at the clock. 
My time was up.
We were going to be late! The whole saga began again. Rush. Rush. Rush.
But as usual, we weren't late. We were right on time. So, maybe next time I will be 15 minutes early and just relish in the time to do nothing? Notice the question mark!
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