One Word 2014 - Family

I miss writing.  I miss using my camera.  I miss being creative.  Going back to work full-time over 2 years ago changed my family's life.  Some of the changes are good, like financial security and some of them not so good, like me not being home when they get home after school.  This year, I am making it about family.  Still, I am not focusing on the year, the week, or even the day.  I am focusing on the moments.  These moments will include the little things, like my 14 year old holding the door for his 11 year old sister or my 14 year old giving my 11 year old money for a birthday gift for her friend.  These are the moments that I will focus on this year.  The moments when family shines through.  When even if they say they don't like each other or me for that matter, I know we are family. 

Fate and Looking Back

I have so many drafts under my posts that I won't even bother to count.  But every once in a while I look back and read what I have written.  Look to see if anything has changed.  I wrote this post back in February.  I don't know why I never hit - publish post.  I don't know why I don't make decisions more often - set goals - move forward. 

Fate?

Do you believe in fate? I say that I do, but then something happens that makes me question it. If I had made this choice this would have happened, but if I made a different choice this would have happened. Now, some call the choice fate; but right here right now, I am thinking it was all in that one decision.

I think that there are many forks in the road and that most times we stop at the fork and decide what is best for us at the time. We weigh our choices and gather advise, but when it all comes down to it, we just make a decision. I chose my fate many times, and in hind sight would have chosen the other road. I would have gone with my gut feeling, my intuition. So many times I have gone against that. I knew in my heart that the other road was the right one, but still chose the one that my head said to take.

I think we can grow and change until the day we die. I don't believe in the old saying, "You can't teach a new dog new tricks." I think that we can make that decision that our intuition is telling us to make and change our fate.

Letter to Self - One Little Word

For the month of April the assignment for One Little Word is to write a letter to yourself.  The letter should comprise of where you are now and where you want to be this time next year.  Since April 1 there hasn't been a day that has gone by that I haven't thought about this letter.

What I would write would be scary.  What I would write would encompass a lot of change.  What I would write would make some people unhappy.  But I can't write what I really "would" do, because then it will make it real.  If I put it in writing, it will mean that I will have to make those changes.  I have to make those decision.  It would be real.

I know what I should do.  I know what I want to write.  I know that although the road I "would" chose wouldn't be an easy on, it would be better than where I am now.  Still, I am going to have to figure out where I want to be this time next year, because I know it won't be were I really want to be.